The Battle of the Wills

 “God, if you will just give me one more chance, I promise to be a better father, a better husband, a better person, if only you would give me another chance.”

Within a field off of a Louisiana highway three miles south of Winnsboro, under a crisp, night sky on March 14, 1986, raged a battle between life and death.

Restrained within a pool of his own blood, a blind Bobby Smith bargained with God to give him a second shot at life.

Lying across from the Louisiana state trooper as he prayed laid the person who robbed Bobby of his vision.  During a shootout between the two, a bullet from the suspect’s 12-guaged shot gun pierced the center of Bobby’s face blinding him instantly.

As the trooper dropped to the ground, Bobby somehow managed to return fire, hitting the perp in the chest. 

The chaos erupted around 11:30 p.m.  Bobby was among a group of state troopers conducting a routine DUI checkpoint on Louisiana’s Highway 15, unaware that trouble was steering ahead and looking for action.

It would be about halfway through the officers’ mission when Fred Anderson Jr., a well-known drug user with mental woes, zoomed by.

Without hesitation, Bobby hopped in his patrol car and chased after him. As the nine-year veteran neared Fred’s car, he noticed that the numbers of the license plate tag were masked with blue paint, and the inspection sticker had been scratched off as well.

Although mystified by what he’d discovered, Bobby remained focused on getting the car off the road.  During the chase, Fred veered off the highway into a field — a typical route of DUI offenders on the run according to Bobby.  As Bobby followed the car, a slip up by Fred gave the officer a chance to swerve in front of his vehicle.  Immediately, though, the highly trained state trooper wished he’d never taken advantage of the opportunity.

“After he slammed on breaks, I saw his driver’s door open and I assumed he was running across the field like so many others before him,” said Bobby, “so I positioned my vehicle in front of his and bailed out of my car. But then I realized I had made a serious tactical error by pulling my car in front of his at night, which meant I was blinded by his headlights.  As I rushed to take cover, I remember thinking ‘God I hope this guy is running because I have just screwed up.’”

But Fred wasn’t fleeing as Bobby had wished.  Instead, he took aim at the officer with a 12 gauge shotgun and began firing.  Bobby successfully dodged the first round of shots; however, a bullet from Fred’s second round hit Bobby at point-blank range, wiping out his eyesight.  Miraculously, Bobby was able to return fire just as he lost his vision, disarming Fred.

With both men severely injured, the real war of the wills began —

“It’s a true battle going on between good and evil,” said Bobby.  “A part of me was saying ‘just go with the flow man, it’s cool, it’s cool.’ And the other part of me — the athletic side, the competitive side, the police-officer side — urged me to fight, to not surrender.

That spirit, he said, also brought to mind his profound love for his daughter, 10 years old at the time, and his wife.  Thoughts of his Christian mom who died when on his 10th birthday forced Bobby to take stock of his spirituality.

“I remember thinking ‘Bobby, if you die tonight, are you prepared for eternity?’  And after reviewing my life, I thought, ‘ole boy, this isn’t good.’”

Bobby said, “Before the shooting, I definitely believed in Heaven and Hell, but I also believed I was Superman, and who needs God when you are a Louisiana state trooper with Superman status.”

As a wounded, but alert Bobby sought amends with his creator and chanted the words “over the hill, around the hill, hell no through the hill” — a mantra cemented in his mind during his days at the police academy — shell-shocked colleagues rushed to his aid.

The shooter would have less than three minutes to reflect on his existence and desires, according to police reports.  However, a stockpile of weaponry found in his car indicated to investigators that he only had two wishes — to kill and to be killed.  Although Fred failed to take out Bobby during the gunfight, the state trooper was far from being out of the woods in the fight for his life.

10-55
Send an Ambulance, Officer Down!

With Fred pronounced dead at the scene, paramedics worked to save Bobby’s life and his vision as they rushed him to nearby St. Francis Hospital, located in Monroe, La.

As they traveled, the injured cop remained in officer-mode, assessing the situation.

He sensed things were taking a turn for the worse when he began to vomit.

“When I started throwing up, I thought ‘ole boy, this is usually a bad sign when you have a head wound.  I’m not going to make it,’” recalled Bobby.  Shortly after his grim prediction, the celebrated highway patrolman lost consciousness.

In the meantime, both of Bobby’s families — his immediate relatives and members of the police force, were notified of the shooting.

Sgt. Jackie Coleman, who was home alone with his children, “will never” forget the moment he learned his best friend had been shot.

“It felt like someone had punched me in my stomach. I just couldn’t believe it,” Jackie said. “I just sat down and cried because I couldn’t get there immediately. I was afraid he was going to die and I wasn’t going to be there.”

Until he could get to the hospital, Jackie relied on his wife, who worked at St. Francis, for updates on Bobby’s condition as he underwent surgery.

When Jackie arrived, he banded with fellow officers and prayed for a miracle.  When the group learned the status of Bobby’s state, the news would be equally phenomenal and heartbreaking.

“Despite losing a lot of blood, doctors were able to save his life, and he’d suffered no brain damage,” Jackie explained.  But when he awoke, Bobby wouldn’t be able to see the faces of those he loved and of those who would later grow to love him.

Vision of Courage
Finding Hope in the Midst of Darkness

 Beep.  Beep.  Beep.  The sounds of a hospital monitor alerted 33-year-old Bobby Smith that he was not in Heaven or Hell, but still on Earth. He could remember almost every detail of the shooting, but one questioned remained, “Would I ever see again?”

When doctors answered no, the Louisiana state trooper figured he could come to grips with the prognosis since he could have just as well been another officer killed in the line of duty on a lonely stretch of highway.

For nearly four weeks, Bobby underwent surgery after surgery after surgery to repair the damages to his face.  Meanwhile, an investigation cleared the gunman of any drug or alcohol use on the night of the shooting.

As a plastic surgeon marvelously hid the physical scars of Bobby’s ordeal, his emotional state began to unravel.  His marriage suffered too as fear, paranoia, panic attacks, and guilt—classic symptoms of post-traumatic stress—began to haunt him.

“The first year was very difficult,” said Bobby. “My wife and I divorced six months after the shooting.  I was home alone, scared of the dark, scared to death.  Here you had this macho state trooper with a reputation for being tough, and some days I would just sit and cry for hours, but afraid to tell anybody because I thought they would put me in a mental institution.”

Bobby said there were times he was certain he heard voices, or people walking down the hall to his bedroom.

“One time, I heard these footsteps and they stopped at the entry of my bedroom and I can remember being frozen in fear. I didn’t want to breathe.  It walked from my doorway and stood right next to me as I lied in my bed.  I could even hear it breathing.  The entire time I told myself, ‘Bobby you are delusional. There is no one standing next to you.’”

Bobby said it was hard to shake the feeling that he wasn’t alone since he believed in the spirit realm and the principality of darkness.

“I remember saying, ‘if this is a real person, then I’ll be dammed if I am going to lie here and let you kill me.’  I then jumped up and swung, and of course, there was nothing there but air.  Afterwards, I just sat down on the floor and wept.”  Bobby would have many more nights like these as he tussled with the daily struggles of blindness.

“It was real tough time,” reiterated Jackie. “You know when we people who can see have a nightmare, we can open our eyes and get oriented, but he couldn’t do that.”

Besides nightmares, Bobby battled fears about his future, his finances, and purpose.

Then one day, Bobby, a once jovial being, determined he no longer wanted the right to remain silent about his horrific ordeals, but wanted the right to a long and happy life.

“I said, ‘Enough is enough. This is not pretty, but it’s time for you to get over it.  I have places to go and people to see.’”

And he did just that.  As he worked to take full advantage of his new lease on life, he would meet his second wife and future mother of his son, Janie.  The couple tied the knot two years after Bobby’s shooting.  But nine years later, in 1997, Bobby would have to endure one more heartache — the loss of his 22-year-old daughter who also played a significant role in his recovery.

“I miss her every day.  I don’t understand why some things happen, but I don’t believe God sits up there with a bulls-eye on us,” said Bobby.  “Through it all, I have learned that when bad things happen, you still have to get up.”

The shooting, the blindness, and the loss of his beloved daughter inspired Bobby to restore hope to others who might be struggling to overcome traumatic events.

To date, Bobby has penned three books, Vision of Courage, The Bobby Smith Story, and The Will to Survive.  He has also traveled the world many times over, spearheaded more than 3,000 lectures and has even rubbed elbows with several dignitaries including U.S. Presidents Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush.

“It’s been truly humbling,” said Bobby.  “I’ve been escorted with bagpipes playing in front of me, have had red carpets rolled out for me; I mean treated like royalty.  Today, I still wonder ‘what in the world have I done to deserve all of this?’” 

As he prepares to release a fourth book, a now 55-year-old Bobby Smith has confirmed to chinika.com that blindness and mental warfare are no longer considered his nemeses, “just those darn coffee tables.”

To learn more about the plight of motivational speaker and author Bobby Smith, please visit www.visionsofcourage.com.

This interview obtained by chinika.com may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of Chinika, LLC .

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