It’s Not All in My Head, But All Over My Body Instead
The Invisible Illness that Refuses to Take the Day Off

There are 86,400 seconds in each day. What if for 86,400 seconds, your body was battered by severe aches and exhaustion? What if for 86,400 seconds, you experienced widespread muscle pain, burning sensations, along with numbness or tingling sensations in your hands and feet? What if the pain was so brutal that it hurt when people touched you, kept you awake at night, hindered your ability to concentrate or even walk? And what if your physician told you the pains terrorizing your body were all in your head, and when it was finally confirmed that your symptoms are indeed real, you learn you would have to endure them for the rest of your life? Could you deal with that?

I, Chinika Hughes-Hood, the creator of chinika.com, and nearly seven million other Americans, have no choice but to deal with the realities of the above scenario. We are sufferers of fibromyalgia (fibro), a chronic illness that forces us to juggle the aforementioned symptoms along with the following:

• irritable bowel syndrome
• headaches, facial pain
• heightened sensitivity
• chest pain
• dry eyes, skin and mouth
• painful menstrual periods
• dizziness
• anxiety
• depression

I began to experience several symptoms of fibro in 2001 at age 25. I was a television news producer working in Houston, Texas, within the number one station among the top ten journalism markets when out of no where I began to suffer bouts of fatigue, pain, stiffness, burning sensations, loss of appetite, trouble focusing and chills.

Since I was a person who liked to go, go, go, I thought the symptoms were my body’s way of alerting me to slow down. But, one day, after wrapping up a newscast, I found myself unable to stand up from the producer’s chair. I remember whispering to myself, “girl, stop playing and get up,” but every time, I attempted to stand, my knees buckled.  Rather than sound an alarm, I patiently waited in that chair until I could regain strength within my legs. The incident scared me to a primary care physician who referred me to a rheumatologist who, after a slew of tests, diagnosed me with the early stages of rheumatoid arthritis disease (RA) — a chronic illness that causes the tissues lining the joints to become swollen and stiff, leading to intense pain.

I can’t say that I was shocked or feared the diagnosis since at the time I had no true understanding of how RA would affect my life. To be honest, I was expecting my doctor to patch me up and send me on my merry way. I got a rude awakening when he told me there was no cure for the condition and that, if not properly managed, the illness would cause joint deformity and disability. It was a catch-22. I was happy that we’d discovered the source of my misery; however, I became concerned about how it would affect my demanding career and dream of becoming a talk-show producer. Since I had overcome so much already in my young life, I thought managing RA along with my relationships and career would be a piece of cake. And for a moment it was, until the burning and throbbing sensations, the fatigue, concentration woes and sleepless nights grew more intense, despite taking several medications.

Day-in and day-out, it felt as though I was being spanked many times over. Sometimes, I’d be so sore that I’d shy away from people touching me. During work, there were several periods I rushed to the restroom and prayed to God “please relieve this pain in my body — especially my hands — plus, give me the boost of mental energy I need to build my newscast in a speedier manner.” In a short time, I had managed to go from developing newscasts like Speedy Gonzales to narrowly meeting my deadlines. And since my wounds were invisible to the naked eye — X-rays and blood work, too — many people, including some physicians, simply couldn’t buy the severity of my condition. I felt alone, but determined to get to the bottom of what was causing my body to seemingly turn on itself. 

Although I tried to mask the gravity of my situation from my co-workers, my moodiness and weight loss signaled something wasn’t quite right. However, it wasn’t until I passed by a mirror one day while delivering scripts to my anchors that it hit me that I was in big trouble. Staring back at me was a thin, pale woman who looked to be on her last leg. In that moment, I decided no more sick leaves. It was time to turn in my resignation. My bosses were willing to work with me, but now extremely frightened, I opted to take a break from my career to focus on my health.

Journey of Discovery

As I battled rheumatoid arthritis disease (RA), I was convinced something else was at play. So, I embarked on a painstaking journey to discover the culprit behind my agonizing symptoms. As I sought answers, I was ridiculed by several rheumatologists who insisted I was allowing RA to get the best of me. One rheumatologist even suggested that my pains were “all in my head”. Persistent? Yes. Stubborn? A little. But me, delusional? Nope, wrong person. However, it was difficult to prove otherwise since numerous X-rays and lab work failed to back me up. 

While frustrated, I never contemplated giving up. Even still, some days were rough, many rougher. Imagine battling flu-like symptoms every day for nearly three years.  Some of my attacks were laced with sharp pains and/or muscle spasms. There were days I found it difficult to get out of bed because my body ached terribly, especially on rainy and cold days. And when I was able to get up, I limped from point A to point B. My limbs would tremble as I tried to move about. It was hard to comb my thinning hair because it hurt to lift my arms above my head. Due to my dilemma, I could no longer delight in my favorite activities — dance, basketball and exercising. Whenever I tried, I’d always pay for it later. Simple things I took for granted such as a brisk walk; cutting up vegetables or using a can opener became too taxing.

Mysterious Illness Revealed
The Diagnosis of Fibromyalgia 

In 2005, nearly three years after my initial symptoms, the mysterious illness afflicting my body was finally exposed. After reviewing my case, a Hattiesburg, Miss., rheumatologist believed my symptoms mirrored those of fibromyalgia (fibro) — a condition that causes pain to 93 areas of the body for more than three months, and affects mostly women research shows.

As the rheumatologist whipped out a brochure detailing more information about the illness, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief as the moment confirmed I was neither crazy nor dying. As I examined the brochure, my eyes zoomed in on a figure of a woman covered in red dots. The dots represented areas of pain, AKA, trigger points. I thought, “Oh my God, this is me!”

The confirmation would come after a physical exam in which the rheumatologist applied slight pressure to my neck, shoulder, chest, hip, knees and elbows to see if I felt any tenderness. After I acknowledged pain in at least 11 of 18 main tender points, she concluded I was suffering from fibro.

Now armed with a diagnosis and new terminology, I was ready to do or take anything to get rid of my horrid symptoms or “flares.” But I was told this illness too had no cure. When the doctor informed me of this, I asked: “You mean to tell me that I am going to have to deal with this for the rest of my life?”

For a second time, the answer was “yes.” For a second time, I was told I had to find a way to cope with another extraordinarily painful chronic illness.

I was devastated, extremely heartbroken in fact, but I knew I had to get a grip whether I wanted to or not because neither illness was going to call a time out; plus, I was expecting my first child. turn page

This interview obtained by chinika.com may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of Chinika, LLC .

TrackBack URI for this entry

Comments (9)

Subscribe to this comment's feed