Fibromyalgia’s Impact on Relationships
A Candid Look at How the Chronic Illness is Impacting Chinika's  Marriage

Riding the front lines with me in the war to overpower rheumatoid arthritis disease (RA) and fibromyalgia (fibro) is DeCarlo Hood, my husband. The signs and symptoms of both conditions appeared shortly after our marriage. In a candid interview with chinika.com, DeCarlo shares how the highs and the lows of the battle have impacted him.

CC:
Did you ever think you would have to honor the “sickness and health” portion of your wedding vows so soon?

DeCarlo:
No (chuckles).

CC:
How has the illnesses tested you as a husband?

DeCarlo:
The illnesses have greatly impacted our marriage. They have tested my endurance as I have often become the sole breadwinner of the home in addition to picking up more responsibilities around the house when my wife is unable to. It’s very hard, but I might imagine things are a lot worse for her since she’s always had an independent spirit.

CC:
What are some of the emotions you have witnessed your wife go through over the years?

DeCarlo:
She has had to sift through a lot of emotions such as shock, anger and sadness. After the grueling process of convincing doctors that she had a real problem, I watched as she searched for inner strength again to cope with the realization that there were no cures or magic answers for either RA or fibro. To have dreams, to get your education, get your career and to see that you have the talent to do the job but your body just won’t allow it, that’s got to be a really tough pill to swallow. And to have it happen twice (job loss) would be very difficult for anyone. 

CC:
What tops your list of greatest frustrations in regards to the illnesses?

DeCarlo:
My biggest disappointment, at first, was the fact that many doctors were really uneducated about the illness or how to treat it.  But you can’t blame them because their profession is no different from anyone else’s, they have to learn as they go also. I would have the say the biggest problem now is the side effects of my wife’s medications. Whenever she takes the recommended dosage to help relieve some of her pain, she seems to have a slight intoxication (chuckle).

CC:
Have there been days where you’ve thought “I’m out of here, this is too hard”?

DeCarlo:
Of course not.
 
CC:
Have you been fearful at any point throughout this ordeal?

DeCarlo:
No, just extremely concerned, I guess because we knew the illnesses weren’t life-threatening.

CC:
What about during your wife’s pregnancy, you weren’t afraid even then?

DeCarlo:
I can’t say I was because we had learned that her illnesses were most likely not going to affect her while carrying Halei.

CC:
Have the illnesses affected your level of intimacy?

DeCarlo
We have had a few ups and downs, but for the most part we’re pretty good.

CC:
What advice have you given Chinika?

DeCarlo:
I always remind her to stay upbeat and positive, eat right, exercise when she’s able, etc.

CC:
Has her personality changed since the diagnosis of the fibro and RA?

DeCarlo:
No, she’s still a cheerful, driven person.

CC:
When she told you that she wanted to create chinika.com, what was your initial reaction?

DeCarlo:
I thought it was a good way for her to continue on the career path she had chosen and it would afford her an opportunity to better manage her illnesses. But there were times I grew a little concerned because I felt she was working too hard when she should have been resting. She seems to be pouring her heart and soul into the site and helping others realize their true value.

CC:
Do you have any words of wisdom for others who might be experiencing similar circumstances?

DeCarlo:
Well, dealing with any type of chronic illness is tough. I can’t sugarcoat it. It’s going to put pressure on everyone involved. And it’s even harder to deal with when it’s a small family. So, my first piece of advice is that you have to stay positive. Second, don’t overload yourself remembering that some things don’t have to be done immediately. Last, but not least, educate yourself as much as possible on the particular issue you’re dealing with. see fibro: search for a cure  or previous


This interview obtained by chinika.com may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of Chinika, LLC.
 

 
 

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